Could this be the start of something new?
by icedbubbles
Summary: Sara realises her feelings for Catherine. Many emotions follow. Can the two realise their feelings and deal with them while on a high profile case where important people go missing? CS femslash, don't like, don't read-simple really. Set post Nesting Dolls
1. Chapter 1

Hey, this is my first attempt at a Catherine/Sara fic, so please don't eat me if it's really bad..

There will be a storyline with a case and hopefully ;) C/S getting together in the future of the fic, just warming up to the proper story here :)

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, or the characters, please do not sue me, I'm a poor student.

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Do you ever just have a moment in your life when everything stops, and you realise the one thing you don't want to? The one thing that you've tried to stop yourself from thinking about, from feeling? Well, that moment has just happened to me. It was just another normal day- well, normal in my line of work doesn't really exist, but well, today was just supposed to be another day like the others.

OK, so I'm rambling, but what do you expect, I've just realised the one thing I didn't want to realise. Let's go back a few steps and I'll tell you the story.

My name is Sara Sidle and I work Graveyard Shift at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I'm a CSI, level 3, and have been in Vegas for about 6 years now, after my good friend, and one-time crush Gil Grissom asked me to help him out.

Anyway, that's too far back in the story, you really don't want my life story (really you don't)... Back to today, everything was normal, you know, I got up early, as usual, got to work nice and early, as usual, and I was sat in the break-room with a cup of Greg's wonder-coffee, waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.

Getting to the point- everyone came in shortly after me and Grissom came in to hand out assignments. OK, rambling again Sara, get on with it…

Anyway, Nick, Warrick and Greg were all assigned to a DB at one of the local casinos; Grissom had a meeting with Ecklie, leaving me with the one person in the lab whom I'd rather not work with, Catherine Willows.

Catherine is everything that I'm not, self-assured, beautiful, sexy as hell, wait, scratch that, I was not just thinking that, that will not help me tell the story; Catherine is the most irritating person I know, she knows how to rub me up the wrong way…oh how I wish she'd rub me up another way…ahhh, Sara stop these thoughts, horrible, bad thoughts that I am definitely not thinking...

Catherine just knows how to get on my nerves, I swear she is the only person who can get under my skin, and we argue a lot, but man is she hot when all of that anger is directed at me… ARGH I am now extremely annoyed at myself for not being able to tell my story without my mind interrupting me with thoughts about her.

I will try again…. Catherine and I were paired together for a case tonight, for the first time in a good couple of months; I think Grissom started to get slightly annoyed with our constant bickering and arguing. And well, tonight, his meeting with Ecklie must have been important, because there is no way he would send me and Catherine out into the desert, a 2 hour drive, on our own… Surely he knows one of us will not come out of this alive, if our last case together was anything to go by.

I swear that man is utterly oblivious to human feelings, he may be a genius, but he is no people person. After I told him why I was so upset after the last case I had with Catherine (which I'm sure you'll find out about later), you'd think he'd understand me a bit more, and understand my need to stay away from her, after her obvious non-receptiveness to my feelings, but no.

Anyway, his lack of the above skills may not have led to the death of either of us (this time) as Catherine and I actually managed to get out to the desert, process the evidence and make it back to the lab, without a single disagreement; I mean ok the only words we spoke were: "Sara you take the perimeter" and "OK sure thing" but still, I agreed, no argument, nothing.

So, we were back at the lab, and Catherine had taken the bullet we found up to Bobby in Ballistics, while I decided coffee was in order. I swear 5 minutes on my own during a shift is just not a good thing, especially when I'm on a case with Catherine and it gives me a chance to think. What do I think about you ask? Well, tonight my thoughts were consumed by Catherine.

My questions ran along the lines of: Why does she hate me so much? Why can't we be friends? Why have we always argued? Why does she get along with everyone but me?

Now, as I said, giving me time to think about her is not good, anyway… I came up with the following answers.

She hates me because I came into their already formed team, and investigated one of 'her' boys, but I mean, even Warrick has forgiven me for that, so why can't she?

We can't be friends because she hates me, easy.

We've always argued because she irritates me so much. But why does she irritate me?

She gets on with everyone else because she doesn't hate them, but why hate me? I mean am I really that bad? I'm friends with all of the other guys… They don't hate me, do they? note to self conspicuously find out whether the guys just appease me...

Anyway, my little questioning session came to an end, and I ended up with more questions than answers, a cold cup of coffee and a headache brewing. The one question that stood out in my head, the one that was giving me this headache, was the one question that I didn't want to answer- why did I care so much? I mean normally if somebody dislikes me, I ignore their snide and hurtful comments, and leave them to bitch about me, but with her, it's different, why?

The answer hits me like a 2000-tonne train smashing into my skull, as I see her standing in the break-room doorway, hand on hip asking me something about our case.

I obviously didn't hear a word she said, but her presence has just confirmed my horrible realisation, and my headache is now a full blown head smashing, skull breaking, brain squishing (yes I just said squishing) one, as I have come to the horrible, horrible realisation, that moment in my life where everything just stops, as I realise the one thing that I did not want to realise, the one thing I have tried to store away in some 3000ft deep mine somewhere, the realisation that I, Sara Sidle… am well and truly attracted to Catherine Willows.

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Well.. that's the first chapter, hope you like it, should I carry on? Please review? Don't slate me though, it may make me cry... 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

OK so I wrote this chapter really quickly, and I'm not at all impressed with it, but I want to get into the story, so I hope you can forget how bad this chapter is and carry on reading. Please? I think chapter 3 is so much better, and the rest will be too :)

Note: Catherine is not supervisor and never has been, except for covering Grissom, she is not on swing either.

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So, after my not so great realisation, I had to get out of there, I couldn't be in that room with her, not after that. So I did the only thing I could, I ignored her, and ran, home. Yes, I left work over an hour early. I mean, I couldn't tell Grissom I was leaving, he must have still been in that meeting. 

I know the guys are going to know something's wrong, I mean I never leave work until at least an hour after shift, never in my 6 years here have I left early. But the headache I am currently feeling means I needed to get away, the questions can wait.

Arriving home, I can feel my shower calling me, maybe once I've washed away the night, I can wash away these feelings too?

I step into the shower, and once again the questions come flooding back, so much for washing away my feelings and thoughts. I am totally and utterly screwed. All I can think about is Catherine, I mean, now I've realised and said to myself that I am indeed attracted to her, she is consuming all of my thoughts, damn, what is wrong with me? The woman hates me. Although we didn't argue today, that's a start surely.

All I want to do is curl up and forget. So I get my tank top and boxers out, grab a beer and sit on my sofa, there's some football replay on TV, playing to itself, to stop the silence that would ensue.

I am on my 3rd beer in about half an hour, so I'm starting to feel it a bit, but at least I'm not thinking about Catherine, I'm thinking about beer, so you know, good swap. And now, I'm yet again rambling to myself, but at least before when I rambled I made sense. I should just shut up now, I'm going to bed, hopefully a good night, or rather good days sleep will sort me out, and I'll be back to normal when I wake up.

I am awoken from what I can only call an erotic dream about Catherine by my irritating alarm clock. I am covered in sweat, so it must have been one hell of a dream. I hop into the shower and turn it as cold as it will possibly go.

Twenty minutes later I am sat at my breakfast bar with some coffee, thinking through yesterday. I feel much calmer about the whole situation today. If I'm totally honest with myself I'd say I've always been attracted to Catherine, I mean how could anybody not be, she's perfect, with those piercing blue eyes, and gorgeous strawberry blonde hair, perfect body and I mean need I go on? So, I've decided that I am no longer going to deny my attraction to her. The only problem being, I think my feelings run a whole lot deeper than attraction, and that is the reason why I get so hurt by our arguing.

Not noticing the time during my little self-to-self conversation again, I realise that I only have half an hour until shift starts, and for once I am not going to be early, the guys are really going to think something is up, clocking out an hour early yesterday and being on time today!

During the car ride to work I decided to change my ways, and I am going to try and make Catherine realise how wrong she is about me, I'm going to apologise about the times in the past that we've argued, maybe see if we could try and get along a little better, you never know, once she gets past the 'I hate everything Sara' stage, we could even become friends. Wishful thinking I know, but I'm sick of the arguing, the bickering, the hurtful comments, and I think, after all this time, we should attempt to get along. So today is the start of something new. I am going to be nice to Catherine Willows.

Walking into the break-room I see everybody is already sat down, all sporting shocked faces, Warrick even checks his watch to see if he's early.

"Hey Sara, you just get here? I must be at least 3 hours early, has my watch stopped?" Greg asked, looking seriously confused.

"Greggo, you are perfectly on time, and, so am I. I do have a life you know, I don't always need to be here 3 hours early"

I replied with a smile on my face. I think the part about me having a life earned me a little smirk from Catherine, but still, I am not going to ask her about it.

After a few more minutes of small-talk Grissom appears, looking rather pale and as if something is on his mind. He sits down, something which he rarely does, and looks at each of us individually.

He sits there for about 3 minutes, obviously contemplating what to say. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Catherine getting slightly annoyed, so I decide to get Grissom to talk.

"Come on Griss, what is it, something's obviously wrong or you wouldn't sit there silently, what is it?"

Just as he is about to open his mouth to reply, my least favourite person of all time, Ecklie himself struts into the room.

"Sara, patience, I'm sure Gil was getting around to it, but, seeing as I'm here, I suppose I can have the honour of telling you what's going on." God I hate his smirk, but I don't want another suspension, so I bite my lip and let him get on with it.

"well…" he paused, obviously trying to create some kind of effect that just wasn't happening.

At that point, I was ready to blow, but something very strange happened, Catherine put her hand on my arm, in a gesture which looked as though she was trying to get my to stop my Ecklie bashing. Her touch on my arm has silenced me, I couldn't talk if I wanted to, it's a good job she's started speaking.

"Conrad, please just tell us what is going on. If it involves us, which it obviously does, we need to know as soon as possible."

Wow, how did she say that so calmly, yet with so much conviction, he's got to tell us now the evil monster of a man.

"Well, Catherine, you are not going to be happy with your next assignment, but the call has come from above my head, from way above my head. And well, they want this team."

"Conrad, what are you talking about?" she replies, her hand still on my arm may I add.

"Well, state governor has requested the assistance of this team, because it appears that, the top reporter in Vegas, the head DA in Nevada, head of the LVPD and the mayor have all been, shall we say , kidnapped. And well, a letter was found about 3 hours from here, stating a group called "Freedom4Nev" knows more. So, I have orders to send you to this town, put you up in a hotel, and you will be working until you figure out what's going on."

I can feel Catherine's anger, I think she may have bruised my arm as she squeezed hardly on it before letting go. I miss the touch immediately. She looks so mad, I have never seen her look so mad, even at me! Before she does something stupid and loses her job for it, I pipe up.

"Ecklie, do you really think that we can just disappear to some town for god knows how long without anyone realising we are gone? I mean that's what you want right, keep this under wraps, nobody knows what's happening, ship us away to find out before telling anybody?"

"Sidle, I'm sure nobody would notice if you disappear."

I think Catherine saves both my job and my life in the next minute, and I'm sure I heard her sticking up for me, while mentioning something about leaving Lindsey, before finally sitting down, looking defeated.

So, 2 hours and a couple of bags of clothes and necessities later, we are off to small-town Nevada, Nick and Greg in one car, Grissom and Warrick in another, and yes, you've guessed it, Catherine and I are riding her Denali, a 3 hour trip, just us and the road- maybe this will help me talk to her, be nice; I mean something was wrong earlier, she was actually nice to me, and saved my job because I swear Ecklie would be ball-less right now.

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I know this chapter isn't the best. But seriously it all gets better, the next chapter is a lot better, so, if you're about to give up reading, please just give it another go, read chapter 3, I think it's 100 times better- if you hadn't guessed, I really am not pleased with this second chapter. So I beg ;) 

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews guys :)

I think this is the first time ever I've updated 3 times in a week, I obviously am putting off too much uni work :D

Disclaimer: remains the same, I own nothing, well except the hefty debt students are in, oh and the mountain of work I have to do, but unfortunately, I own nothing to do with CSI :( so please don't sue me :)

Here's chapter 3, it sees a few things sorted out between our 2 favourite ladies :)

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Ok, so here we are, an hour into our drive to god-knows where, where we will find god-knows what, and the journey has been pretty much silent, which, up until a couple of days ago would have suited me fine, anything was better than the arguing between us. But the silence is getting a little awkward, and I know Catherine has sensed it too, and she looks as though she wants to speak. 

"Hey Sara" She looks at me before continuing "I just want to say thanks for earlier, you saved me from going all out on Ecklie, but you stepped in and stopped me, so you probably saved me from some unpaid leave, so yeh, thank you."

I feel really confused; she was the one who saved me, my job, and Ecklie's lower regions. I mean, she provided the calming touch to my arm, which gives me goosebumps just remembering it, and she stepped in when _I _was going to go all out on him. She can sense my confusion and before I get chance to respond she's talking again:

"Don't look so confused, I know how to say thanks, I'm not a total bitch you know?"

Ok, so she's taken my silence as shock that she said thanks, and obviously is now back to being pissed off with me, so I better think of something to say, quickly.

"Erm…"

"Erm… Sara come on, surely you don't think I'm that bad, I mean, I know we argue occasionally, and for some reason or other you can't stand being around me, but still, it doesn't mean I feel the same, and you know, as I just said, I can actually feel grateful, hell Sara I do have emotions."

So, this has obviously not gone the way I hoped, at least when we were silent she wasn't pissed off with me; and she now has a death grip on the steering wheel- I am obviously in the bad books- again. I really better tell her what I'm thinking, and say more than 'erm'.

"Look Catherine, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking confused because you thanked me, although come to think of it it's probably the first time you've thanked me for anything in the 6 years you've known me." She goes to counter me straight away, but before her mouth is even open, I'm carrying on:

"I was confused Catherine, but not because you thanked me, but because it should be me thanking you. You calmed me down when I was about to commit a murder myself, and well you probably saved my job, you know how Ecklie is constantly trying to find a way to rid the lab of the 'hothead' that is Sara Sidle; if I'd have said anything else at that point, well he may have had his reason."

Catherine seems to be the one looking confused now, although she does look extremely hot with that perplexed expression gracing her gorgeous features. I'm nearly off into a Catherine induced daydream when I realise what else she said 'you can't stand being around me' and 'I have emotions'. I break the silence again, just to let her know the truth, well not all of it obviously, I do value my life...

"And just to add Catherine, it's not that I can't stand to be around you, hell it's the opposite, I just hate the fact that all we do is argue, I hate the fact that you hate me; I hate the fact that you make me feel unwanted around here, like I'm still an outsider, it seems that all you want to do is try and find another way to argue with me; and well I'm sick of it, you know." I take a deep breath and continue, I'm on a roll, "we could have been friends Catherine, but instead you did everything possible to not be my friend, and to make everybody know how much you dislike me. That hurt, it really hurt. Even Warrick forgave me, and it was him I was investigating! And I don't think you're emotionless, on the contrary, hell, I get a lot of your emotions thrown at me: hate, anger, frustration. And, I don't think you're a heartless bitch, seriously, I don't, I've seen how you are with Lindsey, and how you are with the guys, you treat them all so well, give them confidence when they are down, tell them 'good job', respect their opinions, be a shoulder to cry on, Catherine I see it, I just don't experience it."

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Rant over. I cannot believe I just told her all of that, the next two hours are going to be fun now, why couldn't I have kept quiet. I cannot believe I told her how much it hurts me when we argue, how I actually like being around her, how I wish she treated me like she does Nick, Warrick and Greg. It does actually feel good to have finally told her though. I just can't believe that I did. 

It seems that she can't quite believe it either, as the confused look that was on her face a minute ago has been swapped for a look of shock. She turns to look at me, but I have nothing more to add; unless I was to proclaim my love for her, and as I said, I value my life thank you, so that little confession will stay inside.

Wait a minute, back up…. Confession...Love. It's true. I know I admitted to an attraction, but it obviously runs so much deeper than that, and again, I've come to that realisation at an inconvenient time. God am I screwed?!

And now the car has stopped. Wait, why has the car stopped? I just about had enough courage to turn around to see what was going on. Catherine has that determined expression on her face. I really am screwed.

"Before we go any further Sara, we are going to talk about this."

Oh oh, this sounds ominous.

"And don't think you can just stay silent, seriously Sara, I'm not joking."

"I can tell that by your tone." I add, why do we have to talk just because she wants to, (immature I know, but god she frustrates me, 5 minutes ago I was telling her almost everything I feel towards her, and she expects me to talk more?!)

"Don't be like that Sara, I don't want to argue."

"That's a first." My sarcasm appears to have appeared, not good. OK, breathe Sara, breathe. Sarcasm, go, breathe. OK, I'm OK…

"Sorry, Catherine, I'm just so… I don't know, I'm sorry, you're right, let's talk." I offer her a small hint of a smile, which she notices and smiles back. I do love her smile….

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It appears as though she spotted a small off the road café, and she is out of the Denali and walking towards it, so I suppose I should be following really. She turns around, hand on hip (man that pose is one of my favourites on her) anyway, my legs appear to be listening and I'm now walking with her towards this café which actually, considering we are in the middle of nowhere appears to be quite nice. 

Unfortunately for me, Catherine has her game face on, so I have no idea what she is thinking or what she wants to say- all I know is I'm toast, she can scare the toughest of suspects with her interrogation techniques, so I have no chance.

She orders two coffees, and calls Grissom to tell him we've had a 'toilet break' on the way, so we now have time to have her little talk.

"So, this is how this is going to work." She tells me, "we are getting everything out in the open here and now, it's obvious that somewhere along the line we have got conflicting ideas about each others feelings, which are obviously not correct, and we need to sort it out, we've had long enough, and we can't afford to be at each other's throats during what is obviously going to be a big case."

I don't tell her that everything isn't going to be laid on the table (although I would like her on the table with me on top, but I really don't think that counts, and I don't think she'd like me to divulge that information.) So, I go along with her.

"OK" short answers are the best.

"OK." The waitress brings our coffee, and she's starting.

"We have a lot to sort out, don't we?" she sighs, realising the task in-front of us.

"6 years worth" I offer a smile, no need to make this any more awkward, and I did say to myself I wanted to be friends, maybe we can come out of this talk with a friendship. I am feeling optimistic all of a sudden.

"So Sara, you think I hate you?" Nice blunt question to get started there, Catherine.

"I don't think, I know, you've made it obvious." I reply. I mean why else does she not appear to want my friendship, when she has a good rapport with everyone else.

"You see, that's where you're wrong to start with. I don't hate you Sara, not at all. I couldn't hate you if I tried." She smiles weakly. "Honestly, I didn't like you to start with… I mean you were investigating my friend, who I obviously had to stick up for, and not only that, but you were like a breath of fresh air, you were young and beautiful. Not that you're not now or anything, I'm just saying that you were back then as well… but you were just perfect, intelligent, and I was jealous. You were everything I wasn't."

I'm shocked, again. Catherine thinks that I'm beautiful? Perfect? Intelligent? OK well I admit I'm intelligent, but beautiful and perfect, I think not. And she thinks she isn't? Is she mad? Anyway, I should be listening, not thinking…

"…and I know I was wrong back then Sara, and for that, I truly am sorry. You were right what you said back there in the car, I did treat you like an outsider, and I guess after the case with Warrick was over, we just carried on the same. I was too ashamed of my actions to apologise, the more I got to know you, the more I liked you, and the more ashamed I became that we were not friends, and the more embarrassed I was of how I treated you in the past. You are so amazing, and I was so bad to you, I guess the arguments since, well, some of them you really did infuriate me, but then there are others, where I've just been really angry with myself and taken it out on you, it's some kind of warped logic. So again, I'm sorry. But I don't hate you Sara; if you remember one thing, remember that, I do not hate you, anything but."

I received another weak smile, and my face obviously showed shock, she doesn't hate me. My mouth appears to be working before my mind has taken everything in, and needs confirmation.

"You don't?"

"I never have," came the reply.

I needed to know more; I mean why treat me so bad?

"Then why do I always feel like you do anything to put me down?"

"I guess I've just always been embarrassed at how I treated you. The longer it continued the worse it got, hence our arguments getting worse and worse I guess."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. But I don't hate you either, I really wish that we got on better, I mean, in the brief moments when we are together on a case or something, and we aren't arguing, we seem to get on so well. I guess that's what's so irritating." I add.

She sighs, and nods. "I agree, I don't know what we can do, but another thing I just want to get out in the open, I don't want to talk about it, and I know you won't want to talk about it, but after that case with the mail-order brides, where I got you suspended, I just want to say I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said, and if you ever do want to talk about it, I am here for you, I know you may not think it, but I do care about you, more than you'll ever know, and I'm sorry for what I said then, but I really don't want to get into that now, I just wanted to tell you how much I regretted it."

I'm really glad she brought that up actually. That was the one thing that hurt me the most, I knew what had happened, she didn't value my opinion, thought I was too close to the case. I think she knows my childhood has something to do with it, but she blew, and so did I. I truly thought after that we'd never be able to work together again. But we had that case together the other day, and now this one coming up, maybe it will be ok.

I smile, I'm so glad she's apologised, and I let her know. "Thanks, that means a lot. I'm sorry about what I said to you that day as well, but I was just so angry. It hurt so much when you didn't listen to me, it was like you didn't trust me, I guess I just blew and well I'm sorry about that. I thought after that day we'd never be able to work together again, and our 'relationship' would be worse than ever, but, if we can put that, and everything else that's happened behind us, maybe we could get some positives out of this?"

That has earned me a full-blown grin, and I'm in awe of her beauty yet again. I obviously said something right.

"I would like that a lot Sara. It would mean so much to me if we could have a friendship, I do value your opinion, and I would value your friendship so much. I would love nothing more than to put all of the differences over the past six years behind us and start afresh. So how about it? We both know now we don't hate each other, quite the opposite, so what do you say?"

"I say I would like nothing more." It's my turn to give her my full gap-toothed grin, which she appears to like as she gets up from her side of the table and comes and gives me a hug. I think I have died and gone to heaven as she squeezes me, my breathing appears to have gone through the roof, and the moment is over all too quickly for my liking.

She turns around and walks back towards the Denali. As she reaches the door, I turn her around and pull her into another hug; I pull her close and revel in the feeling of her against me. I am so glad we had this talk. Maybe we can get closer and maybe this friendship will work. I feel happier than I have in a long time, probably the happiest since I came to Vegas.

I realise I'm still hugging her, and she hasn't pulled away. That was way to long to be innocently hugging a friend, but she doesn't seem to mind. I pull back from her, look directly into her striking blue eyes, and, without letting go of her waist where my hands are oh so nicely placed, tell her how much I appreciate her getting us to talk.

She smiles broadly at me, tells me how glad she is as well, and in an extremely unexpected move, she kisses me on the cheek and gets into the car.

I'm on fire, stuck rigid to the spot. She finds it funny.

Winding down the window appears to wake me out of my fantasy land. "Come on Sidle, we have a crime scene/ place in the middle of nowhere we have to be."

I'm officially liking this friendship thing, I get a kiss, a few smiles and a joke within 5 minutes of us agreeing to try and be friends.

I snap myself out of my reverie, and hop in.

As she starts the car, she states "I really do think that this could be the start of something new. I think I'm going to like this newfound friendship."

I am ecstatic, after 6 years of animosity, we are going to put it behind us, and try to be friends; and after my newfound (secret) confession of love for her, I will take anything I can from her, so friendship is a real bonus.. Did I say that I'm ecstatic? I think I forgot to tell her.

"Me too, Cath, me too." That is the first time in 6 years I've called her by her shortened name, and she obviously has no objection as she turns and, yet again grins at me.

"Well, Sara, I'm glad we can agree on something." She winks and starts driving.

The little 'toilet stop' obviously did us the world of good, as we are both smiling brightly as we pull up next to Grissom and Nick's car's.

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Hope you like it guys. **Please review, it makes my day :)**

And I know this is going to sound really thick, but how do I get bigger gaps inbetween, to make it easier to read? I'm sure I've done it before, but obviously forgotten? I've tried in word, i've tried edit on here? I'm so stupid :(

Now I'm off to procrastinate some more and stop myself from doing the mountain of work I have sitting here :(


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: remains the same, I own nothing or no-one.

Thanks for the reviews guys :) :)

Sorry for the time it's taken me to update, I'm absolutely useless. I'm struggling a little bit, I'm trying to get the story going, but it's meaning very little C/S interaction at the moment, which is really not good. I promise there will be more between them soon, stick with me, it'll be worth it in the end :)

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Grissom looks confused. I don't know if his confusion is just because Catherine and me took a lot longer than a toilet break would take, whether it's because we are both smiling, or perhaps it's because we are both still alive after travelling together. 

The confused look is quickly replaced by what can only be called the 'Grissom face', stoic and non-committal.

"Cath, Sara, the hotel was basically fully booked, we have the last four rooms; now, Nick and Greg are sharing, Warrick and I are, Brass and Sofia when they arrive, they have the only 2 bedroomed room, and well, you two are sharing, room 231, we are meeting with the Governor in 20 minutes, so you can quickly unpack" And with that he turned and walked inside.

The only part I heard Grissom say was 'you two are sharing'. I mean is he totally crazy? Everyone still thinks that we are each others enemy number one. I do hope there are two beds in this room, because I swear my body would not be able to cope, and well my head wouldn't be on the job if I had to share a bed with the woman of my affections.

"Sara? Sara are you ok?"

I shake myself out of my thoughts and turn to Catherine, who looks slightly worried.

"Are you okay Sara? You zoned out there for a minute. You don't mind sharing with me do you? I mean I know we are new at this friendship thing…"

I smile at her, this new caring for me thing she is doing is really nice, and I like seeing this side of her. Realising I haven't replied, I shake my head again:

"Sure I'm fine Cath, and I'd rather share with you than any of the others, so, lets get in and unpacked, wouldn't want to keep anyone waiting would we now?"

She laughs at me and picks up her bags, walking into the hotel. I do the only thing I can, follow, and try to divert my eyes from her perfect backside. Quite successfully may I add... I am proud of myself.

The hotel actually looks really nice, and my thoughts are confounded when Catherine opens the door to our room. It is truly gorgeous, and thank you god there are 2 beds, my body can rest safely now…

The room is decorated with gorgeous purple walls, with a huge bathroom complete with a centre Jacuzzi style bathtub just off to the left of the entrance. The two beds are on the right, and there is a mini-bar and big balcony which has a small table and two chairs on it. This room truly is breathtaking, and so is the view from the balcony, the stars are so bright in the night sky; damn I wish I wasn't here for work...

Catherine has decided she wants the bed closest to the left, because she 'always sleeps on the left of the bed', and I'm left with the bed on the right, which is good, because I prefer the right, we could share a bed perfectly fine, or maybe not... I mean I don't think she'd agree...We unpack in a comfortable silence, and then make our way downstairs, to where we are to be briefed.

* * *

The Governor stands in front of us looking pensive, and I notice Brass and Sofia have also arrived and are already sitting. I take two bottles of water from the table and pass one to Catherine. She smiles at me again, and I'd melt if I hadn't been distracted by the door opening for the others to enter. 

The Governor stands tall, his wrinkled face etched with worry as he gives a slight smile and proceeds to tell us what he knows, which isn't much.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice. I'm here in person, as this is extremely serious. Now I know I'm stating the obvious, but we need to try and get all persons involved back, unharmed, as quickly as possible, and without any media attention. Understood?"

"Governor Stratson, do we have anything to go on? Other than these letters that have been found at each person's car? Because, with all due respect, you can't have brought all of us here for that? That needs doing in the lab anyway, I have left my daughter with my mother, again, for an undetermined time period, and we need more to go on than that." Catherine grumbles.

I can feel her tense up, so, as she did with me to Ecklie-the-ass, I try and calm her down by squeezing her arm, and leaving my hand there.

My body reacts just from touching her arm, I mean imagine if I ever got the chance to…

Stopping me thinking about Catherine in a less than appropriate way, the governor responds "Ms. Willows I presume?" Catherine nods, and he goes on to say:

"Well Ms. Willows, these people are some of the states most respected persons, as you well know. A local bar has been getting e-mails and telephone calls for the past 3 days, and when the police turned up, they stopped. Now, I think they are being kept somewhere around here, they know the local area well. We have brought you to the outskirts, so that they will not be alerted to your presence. But we need to get evidence, maybe they are frequenters of this bar which is why they chose it, I need you to find out. You are the best team in the state, I need this sorting. I will have a copy of the e-mails sent to the bar sent to each of your rooms, but for the rest of tonight, I want you to rest, read these e-mails and try and find us a starting point for tomorrow. Thank you."

With that he strides out of the room, leaving us all shaking our heads. I notice my hand is still firmly placed on Catherine's arm, and she turns around and smiles at me. I obviously did something right. She covers my hand with her free one, squeezes it and leaves it covering mine. I swear it feels almost, but then I notice Grissom standing up, shaking me out of my reverie, and back to the land of the normal. Catherine smiles at me and mouths 'thank you'.

Half an hour later we have gone through everything we know again, and have an action plan for tomorrow. Catherine and I will go to this bar, and act as country tourists, see if we can spot anything unusual, whilst Grissom and Warrick will drive around the surrounding areas searching for any noticeable places the 'hostages' could be being held, Nick and Greg will be walking around the town looking for any kind of information, and Brass and Sofia will search the Internet for anything to do with "Freedom4Nev."

This case sucks, we haven't even started yet, and it looks as though all we will be doing is a job that some rookie police guy could do, information searching. I suppose it's what they get for being so called important people.

Everyone has retired to bed for the evening, knowing we will have an early start. I'm not ready for bed yet; I hardly sleep anyway- so I find myself at the hotel bar with a beer thinking about the day's events.

I smile as I remember the quick kiss and hug I got from Catherine, and how she didn't remove my hand from her arm before, how amazing it felt when her hand covered mine...

I think I'm going to like this friendship. Two beers later I head to our room, feeling calmer.

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**Please review, reviews are the best, thank you**.

And I'm sorry this chapter again isn't the best, I'm trying to get into the story, then it'll get better, I promise, stick with me ;)

**Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about the huge delay in this story, I just have serious writer's block. I suck I know, and this update isn't great, but something is better than nothing right?!

Disclaimer: remains the same as chapter 1.

Thanks for the reviews as well, they make my day.

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Chapter 5:

I wake up feeling better than I have in a while. I actually think I managed to sleep for 6 hours without waking up, which for me is some kind of a record. Usually I have nightmares, and sleep for 3 hours max, unhealthy, I know. It must be something about Catherine having a soothing influence on me that made me sleep.

I jump out of bed and have a quick shower, forgetting to take my clothes with me into the bathroom. I'm a dumbass sometimes. I return to the room hoping Catherine isn't awake yet, but unfortunately she is, and I am covered by the smallest of small towels. Seriously, this is not a bath towel; it just about covers the top of my breasts, and finishes just below my ass. Catherine, however, seems to find it highly amusing, as she is just staring at me with a smirk stuck on her face.

"I, er, I forgot er." I'm such an idiot; I can't even get my words out, so I just point at my clothes.

She just stares at me, so I pick up my clothes and head back to the bathroom. Just as I'm about to get to the door, I hear her say:

"You know Sara, we might solve these crimes a little quicker if you fancy forgetting the clothes and have us going around town with you in that towel of yours."

I shake my head, laughing at her, and retreat into the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, we're both ready and head down for breakfast, before starting our task of finding whatever has happened to these missing 'important' people.

Just as we get to the elevator, Catherine turns to me, seeming to contemplate something, and says: "You really should have come out in that towel now Sara. You have an amazing body."

I do? I think I'm speechless. I open my mouth to reply, but I am actually speechless. I feel myself getting redder and redder, why did she have to say that… My mind decides to wander, imagine her with just that towel on, with her gorgeous body, I mean wow. Even better, imagine us both, without the towels, in the shower… I shake myself out of my reverie realising the door has opened and Catherine is stepping out. Before we reach the restaurant door, she comes close and whispers in my ear, "sorry to embarrass you, I was only complimenting you."

I beg for my voice to return and turn to her, but our faces are almost touching from when she leant in. I do all that I can, and smile at her. She truly is mind-blowingly gorgeous, I realise this more than ever as I'm standing here looking into the depths of her blue eyes.

I was so caught up in her, I didn't realise my hand was on the doorknob until she placed hers on top of mine to open it. I am shocked by the electricity that flies through my hand at the touch. I think she felt it too, but she shakes herself out of it, a slight blush covering her cheeks now. I'm proud of myself. By doing nothing, I've just made Catherine Willows blush. I quickly walk up behind her, some of my confidence having returned, and lean down to her ear as she did to me just, and say: "Cath, you can compliment me any time you like. It just took me by surprise that's all." She turns into me, and I brush a lock of hair back behind her ear. I think I hear her sigh; before we look into each others eyes, the tension in the room becoming overwhelming. I look down to her lips, and then, in a moment of clarity, realise how stupid I am for even thinking about kissing her. I snap my eyes away and walk to get myself a glass of orange juice. I can see she's confused by what just happened, and she comes over to question me about it, but before she can, the guy's walk in and start chatting.

I can't believe I nearly kissed her. I'm so stupid. I bet she was about to tell me I'm crazy, and she would have had me done for harassment. I sigh, about to bash myself some more, when I feel a hand covering mine under the table. I'm confused. I look up, and she just smiles at me, before squeezing my hand and getting up to get breakfast.

I'm seriously perplexed… up until a couple of days ago we weren't friends. Granted I was totally in love with her, but she didn't talk to me. Now she seems to be understanding. Maybe she doesn't know what I was about to do. That's it. She thinks I was just saying thanks for the compliment… At least I know by the reassuring smile and squeeze of the hand that I'm not in the bad books; she really does know when I need reassurance, it makes my heart twinge that slight bit, knowing I can never have her as more than a friend.

I sigh again, and then join in the breakfast conversation, everybody is kind of reserved, knowing that today is the start of a horrible, almost endless shift for us.

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	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing or nobody.

**Thanks for the reviews guys :)**

I'm still struggling with where to take this now, I had the plot in my head, but now I'm not so sure about it... But I'll keep trying.

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Chapter 6:

This assignment sucks. We're in the middle of nowhere searching for god knows what about these high-end people who won't care who we are if we find them. I point towards the small looking bar we are about to go into.

"Lets get this over with then shall we?" I ask her.

"Let's do it." Catherine replies.

We enter, and I'm pleasantly surprised. The inside is well decorated, with nice, modern bar stools and tables. Catherine is obviously just as surprised by the look on her face. She turns to say something, but before she can, we are greeted by a good-looking young man, who seems to be very chatty and friendly.

"Hello Ladies, welcome. Can I get you a drink? I haven't seen you in here before; I know all of the locals. What brings you to here? You're from out of town I guess?"

I don't like the amount of questions he's asking. He's a bit overpowering.

She doesn't seem overly concerned, however, and smiles at him, before replying:

"We are from out of town, just visiting, we've been told you have some of the best sunsets around, so we thought we'd come and see for ourselves. As for a drink, I'd love a beer please, Sara, how about you?"

She is so good, I was ready to tell him to mind his own business, but then we are supposed to be fishing for information. I have to shake my head to bring me back to her question, I seem to be zoning out a lot lately.

"Yeh, a beer would be great thanks."

The bartender guy gives us a strange look, raising his eyebrows as if to be taking in Catherine's information about the reason for our visit, before turning around and disappearing into the back.

Catherine is observing every little detail of the bar, whilst I'm wondering why bartender-guy was so interested in why we are here. This place is where e-mails and letters have been sent about the 'hostages', why this place? What's so special about it?

"Hey Cath" I whisper into her ear, "what's so special about this place? Why send the letters here?" I pause before adding: "Time to do some digging?"

She turns, (and like this morning at breakfast, her face is once again extremely close to mine) and gives me one of her gorgeous smiles, saying, "all of a sudden I think we will make really great nosy tourists."

At that moment the bartender returned, placing two beers on the table, and saying, "sorry ladies, I didn't mean to interrupt your romantic moment."

Romantic moment? What on earth is he on about.

I turn to look at Catherine, who has turned a nice shade of red, I've seen her blush twice in the last few hours, after 6 years thinking she would never be able to blush!!

"Sara, what on earth was he on about?" she questions, looking quite scared. I'm momentarily disappointed by the fact that she seems to be so upset by the thought of us being romantically involved, but then I come back to planet Earth, of course she'd hate the idea, she's straight.

I smile at her, and answer calmly, "Well Cath, I'm kinda thinking he's got his wires crossed." I laugh, it's actually quite amusing. "But think about it Cath, you tell him we're on holiday, together, to see the sunsets, I mean it does sound pretty romantic to me. And then I'm whispering what looks to him as sweet nothings into your ear. I can kind of see where he's coming from."

Getting all of that out without laughing took it out of me, and I burst into a fit of giggles. Catherine doesn't look to impressed however, until she sees Mr. Bartender return with another guy who both proceed to sit opposite us.

She nudges me to get me to stop laughing. I have to take some deep breaths to calm myself down. Mr Bartender then decides to talk.

"I think what you two have is so lovely. It's refreshing to see two people so much in love." He smiles and looks at the guy next to him. "I should have introduced myself when you first came in: I'm Antony by the way, you can call me Ant, and this is my partner, Richie. You two reminded me of ourselves, when we were back in freshman year UNLV, all loved up. Not that we still aren't loved up or anything, but you know, life gets in the way sometimes, and, well, you two just look as though nothing will come between you. You look like you have a strong bond between you. I bet you haven't been together that long have you? But you knew and respected each other long before that, am I right?"

He looks so hopeful, I bet he did psychology. Besides, I love the fact that he thinks Cath and I are together. Something still isn't quite right about him though, although he may just be worried about the letters and e-mails.

I actually think we may get some information out of him about it, maybe more than the police, if we act like this 'happy couple'. I boldly decide that this is what I'll do, and hope Cath understands, I'll talk to her after about it. I take her hand, squeeze it, and look into her eyes, hoping that mine will convey the message I'm trying to get send her. She seems to understand and nods.

"You're quite right Ant," I say, "this is our first trip away as a couple, we've only been together a couple of months, but you're right about our love; I've never been happier and I love her with all of my heart." That bit is true at least. I like this acting malarkey.

Catherine seems to be catching up with everything that's happened in the last five minutes, and decides to take control.

"We've known each other for about 6 years though haven't we babe?" she smiles at me, I have to keep my mouth from hitting the floor hearing her call me babe, I have to remember this is an act.

I just nod, and she goes on "but what do you mean Ant, before life got in the way?"

He sighs, before replying, "It's nothing really, just recently things have been a bit, difficult around here, haven't they Rich?"

Richie seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, and takes a deep breath, before telling us what we already know: "we've been getting some strange letters and e-mails recently, some are homophobic ones, some aren't."

Antony cuts him off, looking around slightly paranoid, saying, "it's really great to be able to talk to you, you seem such nice people, easy to talk to and everything. But not here. I feel like someone is watching us here, in our own bar. If you ladies are interested though, we could meet up for dinner this evening? There's a really nice restaurant around the corner? I mean I know you probably don't want to, seeing as you're on holiday and we are all miserable, but it's worth asking."

I look at Cath and she smiles and nods. "We'd love to right babe? Maybe some of our love can rub back onto you and help you be a little less miserable? The least that we'll do is be two pairs of ears to listen"

Both of the guy's faces light up as if they'd just seen their presents under the Christmas tree. We excuse ourselves, saying we need to go get some 'sleep' if we are meeting later. As we get up to leave, Catherine takes my hand in her own, leaning into me before saying goodbye. I swear I'm in heaven.

Once outside, she whispers, "Nice acting Sidle," before winking and smacking my ass. I jump in shock, and she says "they were watching and waving flamboyantly, I thought I'd try act it up a bit more."

I shake my head before putting my arm around her waist and smirking at her, leading her back to our rental car.

"I think we'll be having a better night than the guys. I wonder if they've found anything out?" she says.

At the moment I don't think I care, I get to pretend Catherine is mine, I can hold her hand, put my arms around her, without having to worry what she thinks. I'm in heaven.

Back at the hotel we tell Grissom and Brass about our day, and they agree that our 'undercover' posing may help us find out if there are any connections. We agree that we'll postpone tonight's meeting until tomorrow, giving everyone else a bit more time to collect more information too.

I smile and have an extra spring in my step as we head to our room to get ready for our 'date'. I only wish it were a real date, and that it was just the two of us...

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**Please please review? I don't like to beg, but hey, reviews make me write more, motivate me, and I'm determined to carry on with this, to get it where i want it to be. So please leave me a review.**

**Thanks guys :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer remains the same: i don't own the characters from CSI or anything related to CSI..

Sorry I haven't updated for ages guys, I suck totally, I know. But I've had exams and been on holiday.

This chapter isn't really that long, but it's an update right?

Thanks for the reviews guys, they're amazing :D thank you.

**Chapter 7:**

Back in the room I feel quite nervous. I know this isn't going to be a real date or anything, but I'm sure I don't have any clothes to wear for a 'date', because, well we came here to work.

I sit on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands. I think I'm getting worked up about nothing really, but just imagine if me and Cath were really together.

Wait, it's not actually something that I should imagine, it's going to be hard enough just pretending, but hey, I get to touch her; without her wondering what I'm doing. I sigh and get up off the bed and again look for something that could pass as something to wear on a date to a nice restaurant.

...

After about 5 minutes of just staring at my closet, I hear Catherine come out of the bathroom singing to herself. Why isn't she nervous, she seems in a good mood. I don't turn around to greet her, just continue staring at my clothes.

After a couple of minutes she walks up behind me and starts massaging my shoulders, I can't help but jump slightly before relaxing into her touch, and moan slightly at the contact. She doesn't say anything, she just stands there continuing massaging for a while, before eventually turning me round and smiling.

"You looked like you needed that, your shoulders were all tense, I'm sorry if I overstepped, but.."

Before she could continue I boldly put my finger on her lip silencing her. I smile, and say:

"Hey, Cath, it's ok, you were totally not overstepping the mark, I needed it, I'm getting a little worried about tonight, and well, you helped relax me a little."

I realise my finger is still on her lips, and at that moment I just look into her eyes and smile. I move my finger and cup her left cheek with my hand. She leans into the touch, which makes me smile, and I pull her into a hug.

We stand there for about 5 minutes just enjoying the closeness of our bodies, before she pulls back.

"I guess we better find you something to wear then Sidle, can't have you going out in that robe you're wearing, I wouldn't want Ant and Richie to be seeing any more of you than they need to, and you look like you need some help deciding what to wear." She winks and walks past me .

I shake my head and wonder how we can go from hating each other a couple of days ago, to friends, to well, what was just an amazingly charged moment that ended with what I'm sure was her flirting with me.

* * *

After about an hour we are finally ready. Catherine managed to find me some clothes in my closet that look acceptable, a pair of quite tight black pants and a deep red shirt. I guess I look okay. Cath on the other hand looks absolutely stunning. She has a knee length black skirt and a blue shirt on, the top 3 buttons undone. I'm going to have trouble concentrating tonight.

She has her hair wavy, just below her shoulders, and I'd love to hold it in my hands while passionately kissing her.

Wait, hold up, back. I can't think like that, or I will end up doing it, especially as we are 'pretending'. Man it's going to be hard. What have we get ourselves into…

As we get ready to leave, Catherine sits back down and takes a deep breath.

"Sara, you look amazing tonight." I think I just heard something different to what she actually said, I'm sure she said I look amazing. Nah. I shake my head, but she's just looking at me.

"Are you ready for this?" she asks. "It's going to be a mad night. Do you think they'll know what we're up to? I know it'll be easy for me to act like we're together, but every time I look at you, or give you a compliment, or make physical contact, you either jump or look dumbstruck."

I shake my head. Why does she think this is going to be hard for me. Seriously, how hard can it be to pretend to be with someone you're totally in love with. But I do jump at the physical contact, I always have, it comes from my past, what happened when I was young, but I can't tell her all of this now can I.. And, wait, she just said she'll find it easy to pretend to be with me. Interesting.

I look deeply into her eyes and reply, "Don't worry Cath, they will never know this isn't real. By the end of the night they'll be voting for us as world couple of the year or something they will think we are so in love. And as for the physical stuff, when I'm not expecting it, I'm always a little jumpy, but that's a long story." I take her hand and continue:

"But don't you worry, I'll have my hands all over you tonight, there will be no questioning the fact that we're 'together'."

I get one of my confidence surges, and quickly lean forward and peck her on the lips, before turning and walking towards the door. I get there and look back, seeing her still rooted on the spot, trying to comprehend what I just did. Eventually she just shook her head, before grinning and walking up to me.

As we left the room, I let her know how good she looked.

"Cath, you look absolutely stunning tonight, everyone will be jealous of me being with the most beautiful woman in the town and calling her my own. Let's do this."

As we leave the hotel, she takes my hand in her own as I can't help but wonder what the night will bring.

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**Please review, reviews make me happy and will hopefully get me writing quicker. I have a couple of weeks off now, so I can hopefully update a little more. So please do review :D thanks guys.**


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews guys. I'm sorry if I didn't manage to reply to you all individually, i forget how far I've got sometimes. I'm as useless as well a useless person (if I was less useless i'd have had a good similie there :P )

Anyway, I know I haven't updated this story in a while, i'm sorry! I suck. :D

**Disclaimer: same as always, I own nothing related to CSI.**

Oh yeh, to add: I'm going on holiday next week, I'm not sure if I'll be able to update before I go (but reviews may change that ;) ) it depends if everything is as manic here as it has been recently!

Also, I'm not too happy with the middle part of this chapter, it's been sat on my laptop for a week or so now, so I just decided to post it before it made its way to the recycle bin...

Anyway, talking over, I'll leave you to chapter 8:

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**Chapter 8:**

We meet Ant and Richie outside a small restaurant just around the corner from the bar we met them in before

We meet Ant and Richie outside a small restaurant just around the corner from the bar we met them in before. They greet us, and tell us again how in love we look. I really like hearing this, because it must actually look as though Cath feels the same. I put it down to her being a good actress, but then when we first met them we weren't acting, but merely scoping the area, so there's something interesting going on somewhere along the line...

I shake myself out of my thoughts as Cath finally lets go of my hand and puts her arm on the small of my back ushering me inside. I'm totally proud of myself for not flinching one bit, considering I wasn't expecting the touch in my moment of thought.

Ant guides us all to a table overlooking the desert. As everything around here is. He looks around, slightly suspiciously, before taking a deep breath and appearing to relax a little. I store that little bit of information in my mind for later, it might be useful.

The waiter comes and introduces himself, before we order a nice bottle of wine. I must remember we're merely at work here, this is not a double date, it's just work. I tell myself this so I don't drink too much.

After the wine has been delivered to our table, Ant gets talking.

"So, tell me more about the two of you. I just love the chemistry you have." I'm beaming at this, and I have a quick glance over at Catherine and she appears to be mirroring my look. She brings her hand up and caresses my cheek.

Our eyes lock for a moment, and in that moment, time appears to stand still. It's just me and her, and I can see a flurry of emotions running through her eyes. I could have sworn I saw passion, and lust in those eyes, but as quickly as they appeared, they were gone again. And the moment is broken by Ant, who's smiling almost reminiscently at us.

I again have a new confidence after our 'moment'. "Sorry Ant, we tend to have these moments where the world disappears, next time, just break us out of it." I wink at Cath, and she smiles and takes my hand.

"You two really are a couple of a kind, I mean, I don't think I've ever seen two people so in love. I know I said this earlier, but wow, you two ooze chemistry, it's so refreshing to see, especially as being in a same-sex relationship, it can take it out of you, you know, people aren't that accepting all the time" He sighs again, I wonder if this has anything to do with why we're here. I'll ask him later, after we've talked a little more.

"Well thank you." Cath beams at me. "It hasn't been easy all the way, but we try to make the best of every day, the love I feel for Sara trumps everything else. I learned a long time ago that you never know what the next day could bring, and need to live life the way you want to. I guess, in a way we said 'screw you' to everyone else didn't we babe?"

Did I mention I love this 'game'. If only it were real, although Cath said some great things there, I may need to take her advice one day soon…

"Yeh, as you know, it's never easy, but Catherine is the light in my life, I don't think I could carry on without her." I think I'm about to pour out my real emotions, and I can't stop myself. "From the moment I saw her, I knew that she was special, that she would become someone special in my life, _the _special person in my life. Although being together is still somewhat new to us, it doesn't feel like that. It feels right, like it's what I've been waiting for in life, that finally everything fits." Which, again is true, since the other day when we decided to be friends, everything felt good. "and whilst some things in life don't go the way you want them to, if things don't start out the way you'd hoped, like they didn't between us, I wouldn't change anything, because, in the end, I got the girl."

I grin, before realising that I didn't get the girl really, and maybe I would change the past. I don't know, I'm sure I saw lust in her eyes earlier. I'm all in a spin. I turn to Cath and give her a chaste kiss on the cheek, before excusing myself to go to the restroom.

. . . . . . . . .

Once in there I take a deep breath. I thought that this would be easy, pretending to be in a relationship with the woman that I love. But it's so hard. I can't help but wonder what it'd be like if we were together, my mind is swirling with many different thoughts. What Catherine said to Ant and Richie just sounded so real, and I swear she's been flirting on and off with me since we got here the other day. And that was before we met these 2 and decided on the fake date thing. I could swear I saw in her eyes what I know mine were showing. I need to shake all of these thoughts now, and try and focus on the task at hand, the job. I can feel myself shaking, so put my hands on each side of the washbasin and breathe.

A moment later I hear the door open and turn to see Catherine stood behind me. Immediately she envelopes me in a huge hug, which isn't helping my hormones at the moment. She pulls back and wipes a tear off my cheek. I never even knew that I was crying. Man I'm screwed.

"What's the matter Sara, did I take it too far? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She looks really worried, and I know I put that look there.

"It's not you at all Cath. What you said was really amazing" she shook her head "it's just slightly overwhelming you know? Look, can we talk about this later. I'm feeling better now, I just needed a moment." She smiles again, and strokes my cheek lovingly, before turning and saying:

"Come on then," she pauses before adding with a smile, "babe."

I take a deep breath and tell myself I'm being stupid. I decide to just make the most of tonight. I breathe out and follow her out smiling.

Catherine apologises to the two men about my behaviour, and I mumble a sorry too, before realising why I'm there, again.

"it's just overwhelming sometimes. I never knew that I could ever feel so in love, it's just well, amazing." I smile.

Ant takes my hand, and tells me it just shows that I know how lucky I am. I vow to be strong, and go through a mantra in my head at work, don't cry, find out info, at work, don't cry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I smile at him, and say thanks.

After that, I calm down a little more. We eat and I genuinely feel like I'm having a good time. Catherine has hold of my hand and hasn't let it go since she finished her meal. It feels great. I've put all thinking to the back of my mind, and am just going with the flow so to speak.

A while later, Richie goes to the restroom and Ant goes off to tell the waiter to hurry up with another bottle of wine. I lean in to Catherine, so to them it looks like we're having a romantic chat. Instead, I'm talking work:

"Cath, we need to get the conversation moving. As much as I am enjoying theirs, and especially your company, I don't think Grissom would be impressed if we haven't learned anything when we get back."

I'm then shocked, as Catherine nibbles on my ear. I gasp at the contact, and I'm sure she senses the enjoyment I felt from the touch. She whispers, "yeh, I agree, we need to get it moving along." She repeats her motion from earlier, and I sigh in contentment, wondering if she carefully chose those words. I put a finger under her chin and get her to look up at me. The look I get tells me she definitely knew what she was saying and the other way those words could be taken.

She whispers back "Ant was looking and I just couldn't resist showing him a little more how in love we are."

I smile giddily back her, "Well… feel free to show them how much you love me at any time"

"Oh don't you worry Sidle I'm planning on it." She winks before giving me a quick, almost non-existent peck on the lips and then leans into me, as the guys return.

We move to a more comfortable table, where the seats are those long ones you get in some pubs. This has allowed Catherine to get even closer to me, and I beg my hormones to play nice, and they may be rewarded later.

Richie looks totally flustered, he whispers to Ant , who then looks just as bad. I decide this is the time to ask the question. I squeeze Cath's hand letting her know what I'm about to do.

"Are you two ok? What's going on, you look like you're about to faint." I say as softly as I can. Cath continues:

"Yeh, you look the same as you did when we first met you. Anything we can help with? We can be great listeners, can't we honey?"

I nod, and I can see them contemplating telling us. Richie nods at his partner, before starting out:

"OK, well it's a long story, but it started like this…."

* * *

Thanks for reading :) **Please review. **Reviews make me happy (as long as they're not flames, then I'd cry :P). Anyway, please review ;) As I mentioned i'm going on holiday next week, so I may not be able to update. I hope to, depending on how many reviews I get and if you want me to update before I go away, and then i'll try ;)


	9. Author's Note

Author's Note:

I'm really sorry guys, but I've been so busy the past week that I haven't even been able to think about writing :( And I'm going away tomorrow for two weeks, so it'll be at least that until I'll be able to update again.

To everybody who reviewed the last chapter: thank you so much, I know I may not have managed to reply personally, but your reviews mean so much to me :) so thank you, and as soon as I get back I'll be trying to update both of my stories as soon as possible.

Thanks again, and sorry.

J x


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